Monday, August 16, 2010

My Letter to my Princess Emerson

My dearest sweet baby girl Emerson,

It has taken me a long time to come to grips with the fact that this was an accident. Your father and I have blamed ourselves and each other. Your big brother Joseph has even blamed himself. You are so precious to us and I miss you dearly! Yes I know you are still with us and we are beyond blessed to still have you, but mentally you are not with us YET! And I miss you! I miss your smile, your laugh, your cry, your words, your adorable walk, your personallity but most of all your hugs and kisses! Emmy I feel as though I am missing all the wonderful times I should be having with you. Learning new words, your first dentist appt, getting taller and smarter! I just miss you so much words can not even express. Most people do not truly understand how critical you were and to me still are because your mind, hands, legs, and senses are not fully functioning. You know we forget how hard it really is to do some of the most simple things in life until yourself or a loved one no longer does it and has to work extremely hard to be able to do them again.

We have been at Children's Hospital for almost two months now and everyday God helps me to continue to be strong for you, your dad, and big bubby! Daddy and I bless you every morning and every night. "By his stripes you are healed!" I pour holy water on you as we repeat those words because God suffered for us and our healings.

Emmy you have had so many visitors you have had several people from the Father Seelos center, Father Archbishop Hughs, several preists, family, and friends. We are blessed that we have so many loved ones that have asked for them to come on your behalf. Father Seelos has one more miracle to make before he can become a saint and one of my wishes is to have you be his last miracle so that he may be deemed a saint! Emerson from the day that this happened to you I have had a peace in my heart knowing that you will come out of this and be a normal fully functioning little girl, but the road to get there is tough. I can't image all the things you are going through I also pray that you do not remember ANY of this, how it would break my heart if you do. I also pray that you are normal and functioning enough to spread God's word and to be proof of what God has done for you! I want to be able to tell you this story later on in your life. I want you to go to school and be normal if you need help educationally it's okay i'll be by your side forever and help you go through that. I want you to go to dancing, be in softball or any sport you want to. I want you to have slumber parties. I want to do our nails together. I want to go shopping with you. I want you to tell me to get out of your room. I want to fuss you to clean your room. I want you to go to prom. I want you to date. I want you to get married and have babies. I want you to know how to love and feel love in return. I want it all for you my baby girl! And I pray to God EVERY SINGLE day that you will be able to experience all of this. Afterall he blessed me with you TWICE. My sweet Emmy Lou I love you and can't wait to see your smile again!

1 comment:

  1. what beautiful children emmy looks like an angel so sweet and such a lil tropper